I am stronger

I was too kind to you,
I forgot to be kind to myself,
I was too concerned about your happiness,
That I forgot about mine.

We have been happy too,
But you hide from your issues,
You shun my words because I was nagging,
Because you forgot to be self sufficient.

I am again thinking back,
Because I was sincere with you,
I tried my best to be good and kind,
But you’ve never done the same to me.

It was regretful that I was too worried for you,
That I didn’t notice me destroying myself,
Twisting hard to things I don’t want,
Because you kept on telling me your false truths.

You made me think it was alright,
It’s what I should do and my responsibility,
But your life is yours, and my life is mine,
I will not be swayed by your beliefs that shatter my soul.

I am my own person, I’m not in charge of your future,
You manipulated me to stay, to use me,
But I am free now and I looked back,
You only seemed strong because I let you.

Making room for someone else

I check myself and found out,
I was writing a lot about you,
So I asked myself why,
And I found out my reasons.

I spent a lot of time with you,
Full of anger and sadness,
Sometimes with void I can’t explain,
And my lack of will to live.

I didn’t like what we were,
And you didn’t want to let go,
Because I was your beacon and driftwood,
And you didn’t want to drown.

And I noticed one time,
You can live on your own,
With no need for my support,
But you still wouldn’t let go.

I was useful and beneficial,
With my resources and company,
I was a trophy and a mannequin,
Just for you to show off.

Then I thought again,
I never wrote happy things,
When I thought about you,
Because I wasn’t happy at all.

And I only wrote happy things,
When I look at the future,
Places you wouldn’t be in,
And times you wouldn’t be around.

And now that I’ve left you,
I will exhaust all this angst,
My anger against you,
Then I’ll be writing about someone else.

Knowing is a comfort

As always, I am in doubt,
About myself and my future,
The things I want,
And the people I know.

The future is indeed a mystery,
To doubt it is normal,
And so are things beyond my control,
But it’s painful to doubt myself.

To not know what I want,
The future I yearn for,
If my abilities can cope,
Or if I am destined to fail.

I wish I could believe more,
In myself and what I can do,
But I guess it goes just as far,
As the things I know right now.

Keeping faith

We have kept our faith,
All these years,
Through all the hardships,
And we still believe,

We keep on loving and trusting,
When all things are bleak,
While there are troubles,
However much we grumble.

We have pulled through every time,
Through the sad things,
Over the hard toils,
We worked and we hoped.

We’ve come this far,
On You and my fate,
On myself and my will.

She wants to be proud of me

I was bullied as a child,
Yet the adults blamed me,
They say those were just jokes,
Made by kids my own age,

They never thought how it would feel,
To a child to be isolated,
To be an outcast and targeted,
For childish malice and taunts.

I grew up of course,
I still think them wrong,
I wanted to prove myself,
To be more successful than them.

I didn’t become better than them,
As much as I hoped to be,
I’m not happier either,
Not proud of myself as well.

My mother kept on nudging me,
To do better and earn more,
And I was getting impatient,
And a bit sad about things.

She kept of telling me,
My classmates back then earn more,
They’re successful and happy,
And I have started envying them.

Later on I realize,
My mother wanted something else,
Not merely more money and grandness,
But for pride, hers and mine.

She wanted me to be better,
To be proven right and envied,
So she can be proud and to brag,
Of the child she wanted to protect.

Find a friend

When do you talk to yourself?
When you’re sad? Or angry?
When you are happy and eager?
Or while you are lonely?

What do you say to yourself?
Words of hate and annoyance,
Reproachful but kind words,
Or do you console yourself?

Do you hate yourself and present?
Or are you kind to yourself?
What you do to yourself,
Maybe no one will find out.

Love yourself if no one will,
Be kind to yourself if no one is,
But no man is an island,
Look around and find a friend.

Take care of yourself

We determine what we can tolerate,
If it’s worth our love and patience,
And if love wins or not,
We find out sooner or later.

There are times we realize things late,
When we can no longer change course,
Or when we have invested too much,
But step back a bit and think about it.

We have our ideals and it’s rare to find,
The flaws with it are part of the package,
We deal with what we have and work with it,
To a compromise or to find an ending.

Don’t sacrifice yourself for naught,
When you know it’s too wrong and they won’t change,
Because when the time comes and you regret,
You might have sacrificed much more than you should.