Good bye

I have written you a letter,
Full of anger and grievance,
Because I can bear you no more,
And I will leave and be happy.

I will meet you and greet you,
With smiles and peace,
But I will leave you and wreck you,
Because you never deserved me.

I was naive when you met me,
But I know better now,
Because I will believe myself,
And I will not blame me.

This is your fault,
From beginning to end,
Your forceful temper,
And your manipulative words.

I will set myself free,
In a place I can vanish,
You will not catch me,
Not ever again.


Misogyny killed my heart

Do you know what a kiss mean to a girl?
A dream of a romantic one with the one she chose,
Or simply put, a choice made with trust,
But you stole mine, because you wanted it.

Why was I born to an era full of wrong,
Where theft is blamed on thieves except chastity,
Where a stolen kiss is “romantic,”
And stolen virginity is your own fault.

Why didn’t I realize in my naivety,
When you stole my kiss, you stole my choice,
When you disregarded my voice, you would ignore my pleas,
And you would hurt me by stealing my very freedom.

You view me as yours and something you gained,
Someone you worked hard on to give you what you want,
That with your words, I would falter,
Because I SHOULD love you after you’ve given me “so much”.

You see my possessions as something of yours,
With enough of my freedom just so I don’t complain,
But you manipulate me with words to get what you want,
With the money I worked for and my body that “SHOULD” belong to me,

All these reasons and you still call me selfish,
When I said no and you tell me to stop playing coy,
You say you love me but you just want company,
Because your life is miserable and full of discontent.

Tell me now what you told me back then,
When you told me you love me and RESPECT me.
That you would listen to me and protect me from harm,
When the most threatening one was you all along.


Do you wish my hate and contempt?
Are the words I uttered unheard?
Are you deaf or just uncomprehending?
No means no and you are not in control of me.

Have I not be clear when I said it so?
When I say no and you push your suit,
When I push you away and you taunt me,
You said I wanted it when I didn’t.

There are limits for my tolerance,
And it’s shorter now after staying with you,
You make me feel guilty when I shouldn’t be,
You blame me, yet you’re the one at fault.

You call me selfish, again and again,
To my face and behind my back.
I know I am granted what I want and need,
But your ego is on another level.

I’m hating you and hating my decisions,
I will end this soon and you will know it.
Because I’m hating you and I’m blaming you,
For the wrongs I suffer when I am with you.

I don’t like trouble…

Why must you blame me?
For all the wrong things,
The discords and unkempt,
And every other little thing.

Am I not nice to you?
I am meek and obedient,
And I try to please you,
Why do you blame me so?

Am I not loved?
Am I less precious?
Am I unimportant?
Or am I dispensable?

Is it that I’m not quarrelsome?
That I don’t hold grudges,
I don’t pout around and be grumpy,
Is it that I’m just too easy?

Love me, too, please,
Because I try to be nice,
When others are not,
Don’t ignore me.

She wants to be proud of me

I was bullied as a child,
Yet the adults blamed me,
They say those were just jokes,
Made by kids my own age,

They never thought how it would feel,
To a child to be isolated,
To be an outcast and targeted,
For childish malice and taunts.

I grew up of course,
I still think them wrong,
I wanted to prove myself,
To be more successful than them.

I didn’t become better than them,
As much as I hoped to be,
I’m not happier either,
Not proud of myself as well.

My mother kept on nudging me,
To do better and earn more,
And I was getting impatient,
And a bit sad about things.

She kept of telling me,
My classmates back then earn more,
They’re successful and happy,
And I have started envying them.

Later on I realize,
My mother wanted something else,
Not merely more money and grandness,
But for pride, hers and mine.

She wanted me to be better,
To be proven right and envied,
So she can be proud and to brag,
Of the child she wanted to protect.

Creating ripples

We have feared making actions,
To affect lives for the worse,
Or make them regret something,
Or to make people sad.

We hesitate to give advice,
Or give half-hearted ones to not be blamed,
We are fickle and we falter,
But we only seek to help.

We fear creating ripples,
Because we know how it feels,
To blame someone for our own decisions,
Just due to minor influence.

I still can’t blame myself for it,
To be fickle when it’s someone else’s life,
Because it’s theirs to live, not mine,
I wish to help, but I’m not perfect.

You used me against me

The secrets I keep,
In the silence,
When it’s dark,
While I can’t sleep,
With words echoing in my ears,
These things I bear,
Not a peep,
Not a tear,
I lie awake and still,
Listening to the world,
While they all sleep.

It wasn’t my fault,
You confuse me,
You deprive me,
My right and my will,
You never knew me,
Yet you boast of me,
You cried to me and accused me,
You blame me for the wrong things,
You use my self hate against me,
You wield it as your weapon.

You remind me of the wrong things,
While I’m lost,
And I suffer,
You prolong this,
You prefer this,
Me suffering rather than you.
You won’t let me go free,
You hold me and shackle me,
You use my hate against me,
You use my pity against me,
You use me against me.
And I have let you once again.