I am stronger

I was too kind to you,
I forgot to be kind to myself,
I was too concerned about your happiness,
That I forgot about mine.

We have been happy too,
But you hide from your issues,
You shun my words because I was nagging,
Because you forgot to be self sufficient.

I am again thinking back,
Because I was sincere with you,
I tried my best to be good and kind,
But you’ve never done the same to me.

It was regretful that I was too worried for you,
That I didn’t notice me destroying myself,
Twisting hard to things I don’t want,
Because you kept on telling me your false truths.

You made me think it was alright,
It’s what I should do and my responsibility,
But your life is yours, and my life is mine,
I will not be swayed by your beliefs that shatter my soul.

I am my own person, I’m not in charge of your future,
You manipulated me to stay, to use me,
But I am free now and I looked back,
You only seemed strong because I let you.

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Good bye to ex-

If I scrolled down far enough,
I would meet you again,
On my timeline and messages,
In my phone and my memory.
If I went to your street,
I can see you as soon as I want.
If I knocked at your door,
You would let me in.
But I’m not allowing myself.
No matter how lonely it gets,
This life and my battles,
Are mine alone now,
And your life and your battles,
You can no longer dump them on me.
I grew up from learning from you,
From learning not get used by you,
And I will never go back to you,
Because I choose to build myself,
And build my own life,
No longer revolving around yours.
Because you had me,
But you did all the wrong things,
You kept on using me,
Disguising it as love,
But it wasn’t.
I was just attached to company,
To history and false promises.
They were all empty things,
You were just using me,
To fill your void that’s not my problem.
So, goodbye,
And good riddance.

Good bye

I have written you a letter,
Full of anger and grievance,
Because I can bear you no more,
And I will leave and be happy.

I will meet you and greet you,
With smiles and peace,
But I will leave you and wreck you,
Because you never deserved me.

I was naive when you met me,
But I know better now,
Because I will believe myself,
And I will not blame me.

This is your fault,
From beginning to end,
Your forceful temper,
And your manipulative words.

I will set myself free,
In a place I can vanish,
You will not catch me,
Not ever again.

Misogyny killed my heart

Do you know what a kiss mean to a girl?
A dream of a romantic one with the one she chose,
Or simply put, a choice made with trust,
But you stole mine, because you wanted it.

Why was I born to an era full of wrong,
Where theft is blamed on thieves except chastity,
Where a stolen kiss is “romantic,”
And stolen virginity is your own fault.

Why didn’t I realize in my naivety,
When you stole my kiss, you stole my choice,
When you disregarded my voice, you would ignore my pleas,
And you would hurt me by stealing my very freedom.

You view me as yours and something you gained,
Someone you worked hard on to give you what you want,
That with your words, I would falter,
Because I SHOULD love you after you’ve given me “so much”.

You see my possessions as something of yours,
With enough of my freedom just so I don’t complain,
But you manipulate me with words to get what you want,
With the money I worked for and my body that “SHOULD” belong to me,

All these reasons and you still call me selfish,
When I said no and you tell me to stop playing coy,
You say you love me but you just want company,
Because your life is miserable and full of discontent.

Tell me now what you told me back then,
When you told me you love me and RESPECT me.
That you would listen to me and protect me from harm,
When the most threatening one was you all along.

The draining game

I have asked you a few times before,
Every year I turn older, I pose the same question,
“Do I look my age?
Will I still pass as a teenager?”

You will always tell me that I look younger,
I will always look younger than I am,
But it seems like people will not mistake it,
And I’ve asked myself why.

I still look young, my skin and my smile look young,
It’s in my genes and disposition,
But I wouldn’t pass for a young lady anymore,
That’s right, I’ve grown too cynical.

And I realized I’ve been swallowed whole,
By this system and inescapable cycle,
Where I became just another pawn,
To another man who claimed the system earlier.

It’s seldom that people escape,
I’ve seen it happen, everywhere I look.
Is the survival of, not really the fittest,
But the crafty and those who were lucky.

It robs people’s childhood, earlier every time.
Sucking life, strength and time,
Rewarding you with traps disguised as luxury,
Always taking, never giving.

I guess it is obvious to identify,
People who are sick with this game,
But I know it’s not yet hopeless,
To aim for something better.

C.O.N.S.E.N.T.

Do you wish my hate and contempt?
Are the words I uttered unheard?
Are you deaf or just uncomprehending?
No means no and you are not in control of me.

Have I not be clear when I said it so?
When I say no and you push your suit,
When I push you away and you taunt me,
You said I wanted it when I didn’t.

There are limits for my tolerance,
And it’s shorter now after staying with you,
You make me feel guilty when I shouldn’t be,
You blame me, yet you’re the one at fault.

You call me selfish, again and again,
To my face and behind my back.
I know I am granted what I want and need,
But your ego is on another level.

I’m hating you and hating my decisions,
I will end this soon and you will know it.
Because I’m hating you and I’m blaming you,
For the wrongs I suffer when I am with you.

I don’t like trouble…

Why must you blame me?
For all the wrong things,
The discords and unkempt,
And every other little thing.

Am I not nice to you?
I am meek and obedient,
And I try to please you,
Why do you blame me so?

Am I not loved?
Am I less precious?
Am I unimportant?
Or am I dispensable?

Is it that I’m not quarrelsome?
That I don’t hold grudges,
I don’t pout around and be grumpy,
Is it that I’m just too easy?

Love me, too, please,
Because I try to be nice,
When others are not,
Don’t ignore me.